Wicked: Part Two, Presumably

Last week I saw Wicked: Part One. I have, of course, seen the original The Wizard of Oz a great many times, but I’ve never seen the stage production of Wicked. This leaves me in a very unusual position, where I know the beginning and the end, but not the middle. So as a little exercise, let’s see how well I can guess the plot of Wicked: Part Two.

Where were we?

Part Two picks up right where Part One left off. In a stage production I would expect them to use the interval as a chance to make some significant changes to the staging, introducing new locations. The movie doesn’t need to worry about this, so it could pick up immediately after Part One, with Elphaba still flying away from the Emerald City. This could be a helpful way to help orient the audience and remind us what was going on.

Elphaba’s cave

Elphaba manages to escape the flying monkeys, who are understandably pissed off that she has cursed them. How does she escape? Uhhh, magic I guess. She flies out West, where she hides out. Witches tend to hide out in caves, so it seems reasonable that she would find a cave and set about forming a plan. If the colour palette of Part One is anything to go by, this cave is going to be grey as hell, representing Elphaba’s sorrow and isolation. She gets a sad contemplative song about being lonely to get us going.

The rules of magic in Oz are the thing I’m most confused about. Elphaba has shown natural ability to do magical things, setting her apart from others. She seemed to level up as soon as she opened Ye Olde Book of Spelles, suggesting that magical powers mostly come from nature rather than nurture.

But we know that by the time of The Wizard of Oz there are at least four witches. Nobody else has shown any natural gifts, so there must be other ways to gain magical powers, even without the Grimmerie. It’s time to check in with Glinda.

Meanwhile at Hogwarts Shiz

Glinda and Madame Morrible head back to Shiz, where Glinda begins her sorcery training in earnest. Here’s hoping for a great comedic training montage, with Ariana Grande getting to grips with her wand. With Elphaba out of the picture, Fiyero is free to court Glinda, although I doubt he’ll get very far.

We know that the Wicked Witch of the West and the Wicked Witch of the East are sisters, so Nessa will get a chance to try her hand at witchcraft. She might also face a tough time at school with people doubting her allegiance. Nessa didn’t get a big number in Part One, but I feel her best moment will come later in the film.

In The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz there are four witches, all played by Miss Piggy. I don’t know whether the Good Witch of the North is canon, or if Wicked will bother introducing this character. Part One teed up a lot of things, but not this one.

Madame Morrible will likely abuse her position of authority to spread propaganda and lies about animals and wicked witches. What is Morrible’s role in this? Is she happy being the Wizard’s lackey, or does she have greater ambitions? There is no Madame Morrible in The Wizard of Oz, so it’s possible she fades into obscurity and/or meets an untimely death. Or - and this is admittedly a long shot - “Morrible” sounds enough like “Marvel” that she somehow ends up as Professor Marvel from The Wizard of Oz.

Given the Wizard’s whole deal is that he’s a charlatan, it seems like he’ll stay where he is. By remaining in the Emerald City it shows his cowardice, but symbolically it also represents his static nature. He started Part One as Supreme Leader of Oz and we know he’s still Supreme Leader when Dorothy arrives in Oz all those years later.

The Bad Guys Close In

Now that we’ve caught up with everyone, it’s time to really advance the plot. Part One followed a very classic narrative structure: establishing our lead character, seeing her Call to Adventure, introducing a romantic side-plot, before heading into Fun and Games. At the midpoint (Defying Gravity) we saw Elphaba’s false victory. She showcased her power and escaped to safety with her new broom (and cloak, and hat, and book), but at what cost? After the midpoint the typical next section is when The Bad Guys Close In. Morrible’s takeover of Shiz could be a key part of this.

Meanwhile we’ll see the Wizard building an army to sweep across the land, forcing the Undesirables into exile. There might be a montage here showing sad close-ups of all of the animal pals we’ve seen so far - Professor Goat, Midwife Bear, the Cowardly Lion Cub, and anyone I might have forgotten.

Of course you wouldn’t cast Peter Dinklage unless he was going to come up with a cunning plan. He’ll make some rousing speech about solidarity in the darkest of times, and lead a small-but-mighty gang of resistance fighters in a remote forest hideout.

You know who else might be in the forest? Our pal The Tin Man! It seems nigh-on guaranteed that the cack-handed retconning will continue unabated in Part Two. This is an IP franchise and no merchandising opportunity will be left unexplored. Every detail must be referenced.

You see, the army that the Wizard has been assembling, it’s a mechanical army of tin men. The Wizard loves three things: the colour green, alluding to being a parent, and clockwork trinkets. The bright green mechanical train that definitely doesn’t have any phallic imagery? That’s him combining all three elements. In Part Two I want to see more whirring cogs and things that go tick tick boom please.

Elphaba’s spidey sense begins to tingle, thanks to the special bond that she has developed with her history professor and/or surrogate father figure. She overcomes her crisis of faith and flies across to the forest to reunite with The Father She Never Had. Big orchestral strings and drums highlight how fast she’s flying. It’s hella rousing and you, the viewer, are on the edge of your seat at this point. I hope it turns out OK.

Tragedy strikes

It doesn’t turn out OK. Ding-dong, Dinklage is dead.

There’s no way we can move into the final act without some tragic loss. Even better if it’s coupled with some kind of betrayal. That’s why I think it’s Nessa that kills him.

The scene plays out something like this. Everybody is fighting, and it’s all pretty scrappy. Glinda is there, but she’s conflicted - fighting doesn’t seem very Good.

Nessa is enjoying her new-found autonomy and kicking ass. She’s essentially Professor X at this point. The Wizard’s army of monkeys and tin men have a clear numeric advantage, but the animal rebel alliance have spirit.

Elphaba makes a dramatic entrance in the nick of time, hovering in the air in a big hero shot, and everyone freaks out. Elphaba confronts them all, pleading with the assembled forces to set aside their differences. Can’t you see we have more in common than that which divides us?

Nessa, who has had to put up with a lot of shit, gets angry at her sister and launches into her big song. At the end of the song she attempts to shoot a magic fireball at Elphaba. Thanks to some unfortunate intervention, possibly a heroic act of self-sacrifice, the fireball instead hits Doctor Dillamond. Elphaba swoops down as Dillamond fades out. As she holds a CGI goat awkwardly in her arms, DD just has enough life left in him to bleat one last thing: “The Wizard… he’s your faaaather”.

The Big Reveal

I’m shocked. This is shocking news.

Are we supposed to be surprised by this? In the very first scene of Part One they explain how Mrs Thropp had an affair. They go to great lengths to obscure the man’s face but that’s clearly Jeff Goldblum’s voice. Nobody else sounds like Jeff Goldblum. So it’s clear that this is the big reveal at the Break Into 3, which could come somewhere around the hour mark. The Big Reveal is usually given to some supporting character. I’ve assigned it to Dillamond, since he seems unlikely to survive, but I can’t figure out how he comes by that information.

There are a few other ways the reveal could play out:

• one of the magic characters (most likely Nessa) learns how to see the past, like a sort of reverse fortune-telling
• the Wizard figures it out from noticing that he loves green and that he was “taking Mrs Thropp to Winkie Country” right around 9 months before Elphaba was born
• one of the animals (Midwife Bear?!) was suspicious but kept quiet all this time
• Governor Thropp knew all along, and that’s the reason he was such a dick

I’ve not even mentioned Governor Thropp. Is he going to be a major character?

At this point everyone goes their separate ways. In the opening of Part One we saw Glinda travelling around in a sort of protective bubble thing. Perhaps she’s learned how to do that and she uses it to break apart the fight. Regardless, there’s a bit of time to regroup, contemplate a bit more, and rally the troops before the big finale.

The Big Finale

By this point the flying monkeys have realised that the Wizard does not have their best interests at heart. They jump ship and team up with Elphaba. Now the numbers seem a bit more balanced.

The grand finale takes place in an open field. There could be more fighting and spells and whatnot, or a battle of words instead. At some point we see a handsome frog scarecrow in the field. I don’t know why the scarecrow lacks brains, nor have I ever thought to question it, but I’m sure the movie will go to painstaking lengths to explain it.

Elphaba and Nessa have fully turned against each other. The Wizard, having been the cause of so much trouble, is now trying to be a peace broker. He can’t be seen to side with Elphaba, because it would make him appear weak, and appearing strong is the Wizard’s whole deal. But he doesn’t want to keep fighting his newly discovered daughter. Glinda, being A Good Witch, also wants everybody to get along and be Good to each other.

Eventually, they reach some kind of uneasy truce, whereby each of the main characters get a parcel of land to look after. Elphaba, Nessa and Glinda each receive their titles as Witch of the West, East, and South directly. Morrible is banished from Oz for her role in all this trouble. The citizens of Oz have no say. This is not a democracy.

Take a bow

The movie ends much as it began. We flash forward to see Ariana Grande wrapping up the story she told the munchkins. Are they sad that they misjudged Elphaba as Wicked? No! Nobody in Oz has learned a lesson.

We, the audience, come away learning that the real Wickedness is having a small mind and being stuck in your ways. There’s a big crowd song and dance number as a crane shot pulls out to show the majesty of Oz.

Fin.